Harry Reid says that a Bain investor told him that Mitt Romney didn’t pay any taxes at all for 10 years! I believe it—you don’t file 400-page tax returns to pay 35 percent. If you’re going to pay the actual tax rate, you just use the IRS short form, write a check, and include a note about how thankful you are about everything this country has done for you. I don’t think Mitt did that.
Mitt Romney can’t seem to decide where he stands on the Mideast. All he knows for sure is that he wanted to stand in front of the Western Wall for a nice photo op. On Sunday, Mitt said that Israel’s dominance over the Palestinians is due to its superior culture. Tuesday morning he claimed he never said that. By Tuesday night he had flipped back again. That’s Mitt’s version of a 24-hour turnaround. Why would Mitt insult Arab culture in favor of Israel? I can give you several reasons. And Sheldon Adelson can give Mitt 100 million reasons.
Mitt had been running away from the “culture” line. Then when he found out that crazy people liked it, he started going in the opposite direction. I’ve been saying that Mitt should be a gymnast because of his ability to do contortions. Maybe he should be a swimmer for the incredible way he can reverse direction! Mitt is the perfect swimmer! There’s a problem though—those Olympic swimmers show everything... and Mitt doesn’t show anything. If he’s afraid to show people he’s tax returns, then I can’t imagine he’s got the guts to wear a Speedo bathing suit the size of a headband.
There’s a major scandal in the world of Olympic badminton. And no, it’s not the fact that badminton is an Olympic sport. Wow, doesn’t that make croquet and horseshoes feel really left out? Sorry, but any sport that uses something called a “shuttlecock” should not be in the Olympics. Broadcasters shouldn’t be spending all their time trying not to giggle. The scandal is that the Chinese and South Koreans held a doubles match in which both sides seemed to be trying to lose on purpose. My first question would be—it’s badminton, how can you tell? I’ve never seen anyone try to win at badminton! It’s just something people play while they’re waiting for the BBQ to be ready at the picnic.
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