And its 2012! Today, the superstitious and the Mayans are combining to create the perfect storm of Doom Prophecy. If we can just find a way to link today to the Book of Revelations, we’ve got the Apocalypse Trifecta! This year, there are actually three Friday the 13ths, all occurring within exactly 13 weeks. For the superstitious, it’s the worst thing this side of having to walk through a parade of black cats. The clinical term for fear of Friday the 13th is paraskevidekatriaphobia. Who comes up with these phobia names? They should just call it Fridaythe13thphobia. That’s actually shorter and easy to remember.
Newt Gingrich has begun airing anti-Romney ads that show Mitt in various awkward moments. In one clip Mitt says “I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter, small varmints, if you will.” Varmints, Mitt? You sound like the banker Mr. Drysdale on an episode of The Beverly Hillbillies. Here’s a little advice, Mitt—the term “varmints” doesn’t mesh well with the phrase “if you will.” It’s like saying “pass the grits, my good fellow.” Mitt says “I began when I was 15 and hunted those kind of varmints more than two times.” Wow, more than two times! Since you were 15? Why, that’s almost once every 25 years. What happens, Mitt? Every two-and-a-half decades or so, you just wake up itchin’ to shoot yourself a nice fat muskrat for the stewpot?
Another clip Newt is using shows Romney talking about the infamous “family dog on the roof of the car” story. Well, you knew that one was going to hit the fan... or the windshield, as the case may be. Mitt, you may have managed to hose down the dog and the car back when the incident happened, but poor Seamus is still going to crap all over your presidential run in 2012. Imagine how that poor dog felt on the roof of the car. That’s how each one of us is going to feel if Mitt Romney is at the wheel of the United States. What I’m saying is, if Mitt Romney is elected president, don’t bother putting on clean underwear. They’re going to get ruined anyway.
It seems that everybody wants to know what's been going on at the NSA. Everybody, that is, except for 53 US Senators. Last week Senators were given a briefing by high-ranking intelligence officials about the surveillance programs. Only 47...
Tea Party senator Ron Johnson (R-WI) says that "restoring faith in government" is "the wrong solution." Well then by all means, keep talking, Senator. Instead, Johnson says "we need to engender that healthy distrust, that healthy...
Senator Elizabeth Warren is fighting hard for government transparency, and it has nothing to do with the NSA. On Thursday, Senator Warren sent a letter to President Obama's U.S. trade negotiations nominee, calling on the Administration to...
While signing a Merry Christmas bill in June, legalizing usage of phrases like 'Merry Christmas' on school property, Texas Governor Rick Perry took the opportunity to appeal to his evangelical base. "I'm proud we are standing up for...
The Supreme Court ruled that human genes cannot be patented, because they are a product of nature. However, the offered a compromise which allowed synthetic, complementary DNA, known as cDNA, to be protected by patent law, because it is not...
Before last week, very few people knew the name Edward Snowden. Not the case now. It seems he's either a hero or traitor, depending on who you talk to and their political ideology. No matter what you think of him, however, we owe him a...
The Republican-controlled U.S. House of Representatives will do anything to avoid getting any actual work done. As if 37 votes to repeal Obamacare didn't waste enough taxpayer time and money, the House GOP has decided to vote on a...
We need to have a debate over surveillance. Even more, we need to have a debate over exactly who is doing the surveilling. Government surveillance can be worrisome, but it's much more worrisome when the surveillance is being done by private...
Today, the United States Senate will begin debate on the so-called comprehensive immigration plan. Senators will consider the overall legislation, and dozens of amendments, before a final vote can be reached. The debate is likely to last...
Is Edward Snowden a whistleblower or a leaker? This story still has a lot of gray areas. For now, he's something like a whistle-leaker. To some people, Snowden is a hero, to others he is a traitor. To most Americans, he's the guy whose face in...
