Well, it’s Election Day,
or as we call it in Florida, “day number four in the voting line.” What’s the old joke—Vote early and vote often? In Florida we vote once, but we do it over a span of many, many hours.
The polls in Florida don’t really tell you anything. But then the actual election results in Florida don’t often tell you anything.
Oh, and
all you undecided voters—if you’re still undecided, you do realize that you have to decide today, right? Starting tomorrow, all you undecided voters will stop being the center of everyone’s attention. You’ll just go back to being annoying, like when you ask the waiter to go through the menu specials just one more time before you make up your mind. Next time you see some undecided idiot staring at the menu board at Burger King and holding up the entire line, remind yourself that Mitt Romney spent millions of dollars trying to get that person to make up their mind.
Poll analyst
Nate Silver gives President Obama a 91 percent chance of winning the Electoral College. With only an 9 percent chance of winning, the only way that Mitt Romney can win is if something goes very wrong. And if Mitt Romney does win, that means a lot more things are going to be going very wrong. With the numbers the way they are, Republicans have to rely on generating voter enthusiasm… for Mitt Romney. It would be easier to generate sexual desire for Mitch McConnell.
The Washington Post has gathered all the
election predictions in one place. They account for every possible outcome—and quite a few impossible ones too. The people who predict elections to get it right all predict Obama. The people predicting Romney are those who predict the results just to influence the results. A prediction of a Romney victory isn’t a prediction at all. It’s something between a wish and desperate magic spell.
Mitt Romney’s campaign strategy has been to
rely entirely on white voters. You can’t win with only white people. The NBA knows it. The NFL knows it. And today it’s time for the GOP to learn it.
Listen to The Randi Rhodes Show Monday through Friday 6 PM to 8 PM on WWRL 1600.
